Chogyam Trungpa, Shambhala: The Sacred Path of the Warrior. Boston: Shambhala, 1984, p. 20.
When you awaken your heart in this way, you find, to your surprise, that your heart is empty. You find that you are looking into outer space. What are you, who are you, where is your heart? If you really look, you won’t find anything tangible and solid. Of course, you might find something very solid if you have a grudge against someone or you have fallen possessively in love. But that is not awakened heart. If you search for awakened heart, if you put your hand through your rib cage and feel for it, there is nothing there except for tenderness. You feel sore and soft, and if you open your eyes to the rest of the world, you feel tremendous sadness. This kind of sadness doesn’t come from being mistreated. You don’t feel sad because someone has insulted you or because you feel impoverished. Rather, this experience of sadness is unconditioned. It occurs because your heart is completely exposed. There is no skin or tissue covering it; it is pure raw meat. Even if a tiny mosquito lands on it, you feel so touched. Your experience is raw and tender and so personal.
The genuine heart of sadness comes from feeling that your nonexistent heart is full. You would like to spill your heart’s blood, give your heart to others. For the warrior, this experience of sad and tender heart is what gives birth to fearlessness. Conventionally, being fearless means that you are not afraid or that, if someone hits you, you will hit him back. However, we are not talking about that street-fighter level of fearlessness. Real fearlessness is the product of tenderness. It comes from letting the world tickle your heart, your raw and beautiful heart. You are willing to open up, without resistance or shyness, and face the world. You are willing to share your heart with others.
2 comments:
This passage, by the great Buddhist teacher Chogyam Trungpa, founder of the Shambhala school of meditation, describes the qualities of the awakened heart: tender, exposed, empty yet completely full, ready to open fearlessly, full of sadness.
Loving God, help us to open ourselves so that we may feel the deep, tender, sometimes painful compassion that is your presence in the world. Grant that we may feel deeply and fearlessly so that we may be with you and with the people around us rather than closing ourselves off because of what we are afraid to experience.
Oh, that description of the awakened heart brings tears to my eyes, as I have come closest to recognizing it only in relation to the people whom I love most. This is not, however, what Chogyam Trungpa writes about, I think.
"You would like to spill your heart’s blood, give your heart to others. For the warrior, this experience of sad and tender heart is what gives birth to fearlessness."
Fearfully I pray for this awakened heart, because I do know its tender rawness, like an open wound that oozes. Still, I believe in God's healing through Her wounded warriors, and I want to say yes, here am I.
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